everyday, every morning, every night I feel the same, I feel tired, cold to the bones; in a way stretched like a rubber band that is ready to snap. I don't want to snap. So I put on a mask and hide my true self, afraid of getting hurt. That way no one can know the real me, then they won't try to help. But somehow along the way I managed to forget who I am. Every night after I say my prayers I ask "who am I?" then I try to make up a life story for myself, forcing myself to believe it. No matter what I do or say I still cry myself to sleep, though I shed no tears. I need to cry, I want to cry. Crying is forgiving yourself. Everyone says confidence is the key to life, I even say it too. But how can you be confident in someone you don't even know? If you were to ask my friends if I was confident they would all agree that I am the most confident person that they have ever met, and that I don't care what peole think, but the truth is I do care, I wonder how the world percieves me. But I know that after I get through all of life's shit I will be on top. It's just that getting there is no picnic. But I know I'll get to Heaven for going through hell. But if I don't make it there does it mean that I'm stuck here and now?